All couples go through phases when they don’t have the time or energy for regular sex. It feels like one chore too many. If this has become the norm there are several ways you can tackle the problem.
Sex, like everything else, has its highs and lows. No-one gets it right all the time. There are different life stages and events throughout our lives which can determine how we feel. Sometimes, very passionate others when nothing is further from your thoughts.
Sex is part of a loving relationship, when there is trust, love, openness it can be wonderful. Even in a loving relationship it can be painful, shameful, a chore and something to be avoided at all costs.
Sex in a loving committed relationship can be a way of expressing your feelings for one another so why would we want to avoid it?
It is a well known fact that people lead very busy lives these days. After a day at work, childrens activities, babies to sleep, grandparenting duties – the thought of sex is too exhausting. Sometimes, though it’s about watching our favourite TV programme, time on facebook, or on our phones to other people, in other words we COULD find time.
If your sex life has become an issue between you, because there’s a lack of it, then you need to talk openly with one another. Burying your head in the sand and making lots of avoidance excuses can make the problem worse. The partner wanting to have sex will feel rejected and can become resentful.
If you feel reluctant about having sex with your partner in a loving relationship then try to gain more knowledge and understanding of yourself. Get to know your body and how it works. Think back to how you learnt about sex, your family attitudes. The sex act is physical but your sexuality is largely emotional and intellectual
Create a relaxing and welcoming private space together. You feel warm towards one another, there are no resentments or lingering issues between you.
Explore the sensual side of yourselves. Massage one another, intimate touching does not always have to lead to full sex. Have fun together and be more physically affectionate, outside of the sexual arena.