Relationships, Couple counselling

Valentine’s Thoughts

February 14th is the official day of Romance –
so what are your plans this year?

Feeling under pressure already? Well, whatever you decide to do for your partner on this Valentine’s Day, it’s a sure-fire snapshot of your communication levels.

So, you’re thinking of a tangible gift – what would he/she like? Chocolates? ( think New Year diet), Flowers ?( from the local garage and last-minute), Sexy underwear? (and who is that for, exactly?). I could go on.

So often what we need from our partner is thoughtfulness and understanding. It isn’t expensive and gift-wrapped.

At RELATE we see couples who struggle with communication. Sometimes it is because one partner doesn’t listen or because he or she doesn’t say what they really feel about things.

So, back to the key question: do you know what your partner would like on this special occasion?

It’s not necessarily the grandiose gesture, all expense and flourish, complete with roses and champagne. Quite simply, it’s something thoughtful; something that we know would make them happy and cared for.

Ticket to a football match? That’s saying, “I’ll have the kids that Saturday.”

Spa treatment with a friend? Subtext: “I’ll look after the kids while you go out.”

Making a meal? “I’ll have a bash. You don’t always have to do the cooking.”

What RELATE recommends is not rocket science. Give something which shows that you have listened and thought about what they would value from you. Something which shows that you care and appreciate them being your partner.

Many of us forget to be generous in our thought and actions – especially to those nearest and dearest. They may be magical, but because they are so close, we often take them for granted. So conjure up a surprise for 2015.

If you are at a loss, and haven’t a clue what your partner would like, then it’s time to look at your communication as a couple. You can take our ‘Relationship Quiz’on the homepage.

Maybe the best gift you can give your partner this Valentine’s is to to take a look at how well you are communicating. And then buy those flowers, chocolate and wine!

Take the relationship test here