VALENTINE’S DAY 2018

  This year, we are encouraging couples to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a thoughtful rather than expensive way. We often overlook the obvious in our relationships. It is often the small gestures that make people feel cared for and understood. Sometimes, making a cup of tea for one another, waiting up for a partner to get in, or offering to have the children alone for a few hours, so your partner can have a break – can mean a lot.  It shows you care and that you have been listening to what they want rather than what you think they want. Here, at RELATE EXETER AND DISTRICT, we know that feeling cared for and listened to are the essentials for a happy relationship. Of course, gifts are always welcome and you can always do both! For further information about the relationship charity Relate go to www.relate-ed.org.uk  or phone 0300 7729681

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JANUARY BLUES – HOW TO BEAT THEM

January can be a tough month on relationships – the festivities are over, the credit card bills are in and many of us start to re-evaluate our lives and make lists of the things we’d like to change. You also can’t turn on the TV or open a magazine without being bombarded with adverts and programmes about self-improvement, encouraging you to revamp everything from your wardrobe to your career. But in all the ‘new year, new you’ frenzy it can be easy to forget to think about all the things we already have in our lives that are positive and make us happy. In the same way if we always look at the problems in our relationships, we can miss the small yet most amazing things about our partners, family and friends. We often take for granted the things that are good and that work and forget to take the time and space to really appreciate what they mean to us. Focus on the good stuff: A great way to refocus on the good things in your life is to try writing a gratitude list. This is a common mindfulness technique but I’ve given it my own Relate-twist by suggesting…

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SHOPPING CAN HELP……..

  We have been successful in applying to the Community Tokens Schemes in both Tesco and Waitrose but we need you to shop! Having been awarded £1,000 to help us provide low cost Young Person counselling in Taunton by TESCO – WAITROSE in Okehampton are championing us in December and in January we are in SIDMOUTH WAITROSE. We are then eligible in January and February for the community token scheme in ILFRACOMBE TESCO. If you are shopping in any of these stores, I hope you will drop your blue or green token into our boxes – we want to help as many people as need us with relationship issues, and your help enables us to carry on the work.

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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ………NO ARGUMENTS

      Relate’s guide to avoiding bust – ups over the festive season It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas is coming.The  high streets are getting busy with festive shoppers and across Devon people are dusting off the decorations. But for some, Christmas is an extremely stressful and emotional period and a time that families have come to dread. This Christmas, Relate in Devon is asking people across the county to put a ‘Harmonious Christmas’ at the top of their Christmas wish list. And to help, Relate’s counsellors have put together the following tips to help families keep the peace this festive season: For a lot of people this Christmas, money will be tight, so try not to succumb to the pressure and spend more than you can afford.Getting into a mountain of debt is not a good way to start the New Year. Who goes where and when can be a huge issue for parents who have split up and for step families, especially if you are at loggerheads. As hard as it is, try and keep as calm as possible and keep your children’s best interests at heart. Turn the telly off. It’s easy to ‘veg…

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GRANDPARENTS DAY

Did you know that yesterday was Grandparents Day? If you did not – do not worry, it’s never too late to show your appreciation of someone. Grandparents take an increasing role in helping with grandchildren, often sacrificing doings things they love in order to help out. There is also great joy to be had from looking after grandchildren and making wonderful relationships with a new generation. However, help need never be taken for granted, so how about saying a big Thank you to Grandparents today? Tell them how much they mean to you.

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Did you have a HAPPY SUMMER ?

      The Summer holidays are over, back to school, back to work, back to everyday life. Christmas hols are still a long way off. Sometimes, we look forward to something so much that we build it up to have unrealistic expectations of how it will be. The reality does not always live up to our dreams. We become disappointed and often take it out on those nearest and dearest. What should have been a restful and relaxing time became tense. Did you have a quarrelsome Summer with your partner or children? Don’t let it fester, do something about the arguments and irritation. Make an appointment with us. Make the next holiday different.  

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TESCO AND TAUNTON RELATE

  Do you ever shop in Taunton? In September and October if you are shopping in one of the following Tesco stores in Taunton, put your blue bags of help token in our Relate box. GALMINGTON TAUNTN EXP  TA1 4TY TAUNTON TA1 4AB LISIEUX WY TAUNTN EXP  TA1 2PD REX TAUNTON EXP TA1 3ES TAUNTON HIGH ST EXP TA1 3PN TAUNTON PRIORSWD EXP  TA2 7PS  we need them to put their tokens in our box. We are raising money to help fund our YOUNG PERSON COUNSELLING SERVICE in TAUNTON. We need your help…………

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Holidays and Intimacy

Holidays are often the time when couples have good, lazy and relaxed sex. The stresses of our everyday lives are forgotten for an all too brief time. Couples have more time to connect, if the weather is good (!), we wear fewer clothes and thoughts stray to intimacy and love making. If you are the partner who dreads the thought of this, especially when on holiday, as the usual excuses – tired, children, TV, work, family – are not relevant then you need to think seriously about looking for help. At Relate we see couples and individuals who have lost all feelings of desire. There are many reasons for this and all relationships are different. We offer a psycho sexual therapy in our Exeter office for those people who realise they have a problem with intimacy with their partner. Post Summer holidays is often the time when couples decide that the time has come  to do something about it. Phone now to make an appointment.    

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THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS ARE HERE.

  1.Try to sit down as a family to discuss what you can and cannot do over the Summer. 2. If you and your partner get argumentative, for example getting lost en route to somewhere, remember children benefit from seeing conflict constructively resolved – humour is a great way to dispel car tension. 3. If you have step-children and you are all going away for the first time, it will feel very different for the children. Try and create some new holiday traditions. 4. Talk as a couple before you go away about boundaries for your children – keep a united front if they challenge you. 5. Try to spend some time alone as a couple. Holidays are meant to be fun and relaxing but they can also be times of stress and discord. If your family needs some extra support – either over the summer holidays or after the break – talking to one of our counsellors could really help to improve things. To make an appointment or talk to someone please phone: 03007729681 e-mail: reception@relate-ed.org.uk    

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Thank you Okehampton United Charities

  The Relate office in Okehampton once again thank the Trustees of The Okehampton United Charities Trust for their continued financial support of our counselling service based in the Ockment Centre, in Okehampton. We have expanded our services this year by adding another counsellor who works evenings. Our counsellors who work in rural areas gain a great understanding about the particular challenges that may present in relationships within families, as well as the joys of living in beautiful rural surroundings.   If you would like to talk to a counsellor about a relationship issue – –phone –  03007729681 e-mail– reception@exrelate.org.uk  – don’t leave it until it becomes a crisis. Karen Percival of O.U.C. with Veronica Beckett of RELATE

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