Tag Archives | children

My children argue all the time and I can’t cope

Arguments between children can be upsetting for a parent. You may worry about your children’s relationship – especially if the arguments have been going on regularly for a while. You may feel a responsibility to stop the arguing, or may be upset that the arguments are causing disharmony in your family unit. While some level of arguing between children isn’t uncommon – and indeed, might be reasonably expected – what can make a difference is the regularity and intensity of arguments. If your children are constantly at odds, or arguments are becoming really aggressive or even physical, this can create real problems. Understanding why and how children argue When thinking about how to address the situation, the best place to start is to try and understand where the arguments are coming from. Is it about the same thing each time or something different? If it’s something different, are certain dynamics being played out each time – for example, one child feeling that the other always gets favourable treatment, or feeling like they don’t get enough attention? While arguments in children might often be about seemingly trivial things, there is very often an emotional root – something that is upsetting one or…

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Relate says PREPARE FOR the summer holidays

 The sun has finally come out so we begin to think of the School summer holidays.  Parents worry about how to keep the kids entertained. Long summers can be great, but they can also cause tension around childcare arrangements, money and activities. Relate offers some tips for having a summer holiday the whole family can enjoy. Have a planning session It might be impossible to make sure everyone gets what they want from the summer holiday. Draw up a list of what everyone wants. It’s better to explain to children at this point that not all is possible. Planning is important, as it makes all feel  they’re contributing and being listened to, it’s especially important if you’re separated or living in a step family as it might be different from what everyone is used to. Set expectations This includes helping children to understand that you need to work even though they’re not at school, and you can’t entertain them all the time. Don’t be afraid to talk  about money – if they want to do something you can’t afford, be honest with them and work out a cheaper alternative together. Saving money Summer is a time to have fun without…

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Did you have a HAPPY SUMMER ?

      The Summer holidays are over, back to school, back to work, back to everyday life. Christmas hols are still a long way off. Sometimes, we look forward to something so much that we build it up to have unrealistic expectations of how it will be. The reality does not always live up to our dreams. We become disappointed and often take it out on those nearest and dearest. What should have been a restful and relaxing time became tense. Did you have a quarrelsome Summer with your partner or children? Don’t let it fester, do something about the arguments and irritation. Make an appointment with us. Make the next holiday different.  

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Enjoy your Summer Holidays

We are advising people to come to Relate now if they feel their relationship is coming under strain BEFORE children break up for the Summer Holidays so everyone can enjoy the holidays together. Says Development Officer Veronica “The summer holidays are not far away – this can often be a tense time for families. Expectations are often unrealistic about how easy and happy the holidays will be. Couples who are both working find they have to juggle their holiday allowance to cope with child care. Family members such as Grandparents, who often help out, might themselves be going away during the summer. This means that couples often get to see less of one another during the holiday period.  Families on low incomes find keeping children entertained and fed throughout the summer holidays can put further strain on the family budget. If all their friends are away on holiday there is more pressure to keep them entertained and busy.”  To find out more information or, to book an appointment, please phone Relate on 03007729681

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Under pressure: The relationships of UK parents who have a child with a learning disability

It’s clear that good quality relationships are central to our health and wellbeing. At Relate, we know this directly from our work in the counselling room and online, as well as from the wealth of research evidencing this. Our landmark The Way We Are Now survey of the UK’s relationships, provides an important window into the health of our relationships. Today we’re publishing the latest report from this series of research reports – Under pressure: The relationships of UK parents who have a child with a learning disability. It examines these parents’ relationships with each other, their families, friends, and wider social networks, and compares these with the relationships of parents who do not have a child with a learning disability. Learning disability is often not well-understood, and little previous research has looked at the pressures on parents’ relationships. Relate and Relationships Scotland were therefore pleased to partner with learning disability charity Mencap to produce this report. Sadly, it doesn’t make for easy reading. Our data shows that parents who have a child with a learning disability often experience unnecessary strains on their relationships. These strains are over and above the pressures which any relationship may come under, this can result in…

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New counsellor in Tiverton

Relate in Tiverton is pleased to welcome another counsellor to their service. Kate Partridge works in Exeter and Taunton Relate Centres and is now joining the Tiverton team. Manager Brett Parker says “ We are delighted that Kate is now working in Tiverton. It adds to our expertise in the field of family and young persons therapy” Kate has worked extensively with teenagers and families in many different roles. She is a fully qualified and experienced Relate registered family and relationship therapist. “ I am really looking forward to working in Tiverton, to help those in need of our services to be able to access them locally.” says Kate. To find out more about Relate services in Tiverton – go to www.relate-ed.org.uk, or phone 0300 7729682 to discuss how Relate can help your relationships.

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Relate for happy family holidays

Are you ready for the summer holidays?

Here are 5 top tips for you and your family….. 1. Try to sit down as a family to plan what you can do over the Summer.Get the children involved with thinking up low cost activities. 2. If you and your partner get into an argument,for example, in the car you’re going the wrong way, remember that children benefit from seeing conflict being resolved in a positive way. Sulking and silence are not helpul. 3. If you’re going away for the first time as a step family, it will probably feel very different for the children. Try to see it as a chance to create new family holiday traditions. 4. Talk as a couple before you go away about boundaries for your children – and keep a united front if they challenge you. 5.Try to find some time alone as a couple – not easy on a family holiday but even small snatches of time are helpful. Enjoy it – you’re on holiday

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